“Not only did the new climate report just come out, but a few nights before school started, I read about how the Gulf Stream is showing signs of collapse,” Carl said. “What awesome timing! I’m glad all this information came my way now because instead of thinking about whether peanut butter crackers and a PB&J sandwich make for an overly legume-centric lunch, I can think about how my children might be doomed to a life of trying to survive one natural catastrophe after another until the earth becomes a completely uninhabitable hellscape.”